Tips on how to listen

Over the years, I have learned a lot about listening.  I am hearing impaired, I have had to sharpen my listening techniques, especially since listening is my working skill as an intuitor.  I have learned many tips to help me listen I would like to share with you.

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have as an intuitor.  How well you listen has a major impact on your reading’s effectiveness.  As an intuitor, you listen to obtain information and to understand the sitter.  Most of us are not good listeners.  Research has shown that we normally retain 25% to 50% of what we hear.  As intuitors, we would only receive less than half of what our sitter says to us.  Using the intuitor’s tools in this book, the feedback from our sitter is essential to a good reading.

Listening is a skill that is learned.  You must practice it every day, even when not doing a reading.  It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be a good listener.  There are a three major points to improve listening skills.

Remove distractions and tune in.

During the reading, turn off the any other noise in the area, such as TV, radio or music player.  I once had to do readings at a party where they wanted to sit me next to the band.  I protested and almost walked out.  They finally placed me in the back of the room where it was quieter.  The quiet will also help the sitter.  They will be listening to your every word and giving you feedback.  If you are doing readings in your home, you can control the sound around you.  If you are elsewhere, insist as firmly as possible to a quiet of area.

Pay attention.

Focus on what you are listening to rather than formulating what you think you should say in reply.  A skilled intuitor must be listening and preparing the next statement.  Remember the sitter response to your statements is as important as your next statement.

• Try to look at the sitter when they are speaking.  Nevertheless, be careful not to stare; this may upset the sitter.
• Observe the sitter’s body language.  What they are saying with their movements is as important as what they saying in words.
• Show the sitter you are listening, nod occasionally, smile and use facial expressions to let the sitter know you are interested in what they are saying.

Listen to one thing at a time.

Try listening to one person or thing at a time.  If you are doing private readings, this may not be a problem.  But if you are doing party work, someone will always seem to come by and say something to the sitter, another person or you.  Try to block out what they are saying and concentrate on the reading.

These are some techniques to help improve your listening skills.  Try them out.  As with any skill, you must practice, practice and then practice some more.

• Practice listening with something fun or informative.  Get an audio book, a recording of a humorist or comedian or podcast.  After you have listened to the audio book passage, jot down as many points as you can remember from the book and listen to the same passage again.  See how many points you remembered and/or missed.
• Do not listen only to people.  When you get the chance, try to focus in on the background noises.  These may be natural sounds like birds and insects in the woods or the sounds of people moving in the cities.  Go for a walk in the woods or the country and listen to the sounds of nature.  Walk around the block in the city and see how many different sounds you can distinguish.
• When you are speaking with a friend or relative, notice the person's tone of voice, mannerisms, manner of speaking, accent and habits.  Keep quiet and let the other person talk.  
• Tune your TV to a foreign channel and listen or turn off the sound and just watch the non-verbal communication.  You will be amazed on how much information you can acquire by listening only to the tonal inflection and body language.

Top 10 Tricks To Becoming a Good Listener.

1. Try to see the conversation from the other’s point of view.  By trying to see their point of view, you will better hear what they are saying.
2. Watch their body language by using your own.  Make eye contact; uncross your arms, and turn your shoulders so you are facing the person speaking.  The person speaking will often unconsciously mimic your movements.
3. Avoid thinking about what you or they may say next.
4. Create memory triggers to assist your recall.  These triggers will help you remember the conversation.
5. Be open-minded and avoid passing judgment on the speaker.
6. When listening, stop doing other things while the person is speaking to you.
7. Use body language to encourage the speaker with nods and affirmative words.
8. Take what is said at face value and avoid focusing on the “hidden” meaning.
9. Do not interrupt.
10.  As the conversation goes on, try to repeat what you heard by summarizing it when it is your turn to talk.  If you cannot repeat it or do not understand, simply ask for clarification to get a better understanding of what was said.

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